The Truth Will Out
by CMPerry
Summary: Series of one-shots on the various ways Dean could reveal his feelings for Cas. Some funny, some fluffy, some dark, all Destiel.
1. Stay

"What are you going to do now?" Dean asked, walking down one of the deep tire tracks in the snowy road, side by side with Cas.

"I think it's time I returned to heaven to face the repercussions of my actions. I've been hiding for too long."

"Well don't take any crap, you've been hard enough on yourself as it is." Cas didn't really believe him. He had gone mad, drunk on power and massacred thousands of angels. There was no excuse for that, and he had to be punished for it. Cas noticed the snow at his feet grow brighter and heard the slow crunch of a car creeping carefully across the snowy road. He moved towards the snow-blanketed sidewalk and felt Dean's hand on his back, guiding him away from the approaching vehicle. It was harder walking through the six inches of white powder on the sidewalk that had begun to freeze in the cold night air, but together they trudged on towards their motel.

"Will you come back?" Dean asked suddenly and quietly. Cas turned to look at him and was surprised to see genuine worry in usually guarded expression.

"Of course," he said. "Unless I'm incarcerated or executed for my crimes."

"Dude!"

"Sorry. But it's a possibility."

"Well, if they throw you in angel jail I'll come visit you when I die."

"Thank you," Cas said. "I hope you'll be very old."

"That's not likely," Dean said, with a dry laugh.

They were just a few blocks from the motel when they turned a corner and were stopped in their tracks by four people blocking the road.

"Excuse me," Cas said, walking forward and expecting them to move out of the way, but they stood perfectly still.

"It's been a while, brother," one of them said, and Cas recognised him, although the voice and vessel were unfamiliar.

"Adriel?" Instead of replying, Adriel gestured to another angel, who Cas recognised as Daniel. He walked forward and before Dean or Cas realised what was happening, he had reached out two fingers and pressed them to Dean's forehead, and they both vanished.

"Where did you take him?" Cas said. "Bring him back immediately."

"We don't take orders from a genocidal lunatic," Adriel said. Cas looked to the other angels.

"Sophie? Nathaniel?" They nodded stiffly. "What are you doing? Where is Dean?"

"This isn't about the human," Adriel said. "This is about revenge." Cas immediately dropped the angel blade from his sleeve and in to his hand. Adriel tutted. "Now, now, Castiel. Do you really want more blood on your hands?"

As if on command, Sophie suddenly lunged forward, her own angel blade grasped tightly. Cas ducked backwards and the blade missed him by inches. Adriel swung at him next but Cas was faster, hitting Adriel across the face and thrusting the angel blade at his stomach, but he dodged swiftly and swiped at Cas's chest. The blade ripped through his coat, only just missing his skin. Nathaniel appeared suddenly behind him, his knife to Cas's throat, but Cas threw his head back, striking Nathaniel squarely in the forehead, making him stumble backwards.

"I don't want to hurt any of you," Cas implored, holding up his hands, but no one paid any heed.

When he looked around he saw that Adriel was gone, and before he could locate him, Sophie lunged for him once more, a glint of madness in the blue eyes of her vessel. Nathaniel had clambered back to his feet, joining Sophie and backing Cas in to a corner.

He felt someone grip him by the shoulder. Adriel. He whipped around and thrust his blade upwards, feeling every tiny movement as he punctured clothes, skin, muscle, organs, scraped bone. Clutching his attacker by the jacket he looked in to his face, but the person looking back at him, mouth open, eyes wide with shock and pain, was Dean. Dean's knees gave way and Cas only just managed to stop him hitting the snowy ground.

"Oh my God. Dean." Dean's chest was rising and falling fitfully, but no air was passing his lips. He stared at Cas, fear shining in his eyes.

He moved his lips as though he was trying to speak, his hand finding Cas's coat and clinging on tightly.

Cas was paralysed as he looked in horror at what he had done. The knowledge that he could heal Dean was little consolation when he saw how much pain he was in. He grasped the angel blade and pulled it from Dean's chest and blood poured from the wound like he had removed a cork from a bottle, soaking in to the pure white snow. Cas reached out a hand but before he could touch Dean, he was suddenly dragged backwards by several pairs of hands. The three angels pulled him away and restrained him as he fought to get back to Dean.

"An eye for an eye, brother," Adriel growled in to his ear. "We watched you slaughter thousands of our siblings, so now you will watch your companion die."

"No!" Cas yelled, struggling hopelessly against them. "Dean!" Dean's fingers were scraping frantically at the ground, his back arching in agony as he choked on his own blood. Cas was screaming at the angels to show some mercy, screaming for Dean, and then he was just screaming, wrestling in vain to be free of his captors. And then Dean fell still.

"Dean!" Cas roared, and in a sudden and uncontrollable rage, he turned on them, ripping his arms free. He struck Nathaniel hard across the face and he flew backwards, slamming in to a dumpster with a sickening thud. Then, turning on Adriel, Cas grabbed him by the throat, throwing him against the brick wall, pressing on his windpipe until his eyes began to roll back in his head. Sophie ran towards him and still with one arm on Adriel's throat, Cas plunged the blade in to his chest, using the resulting flash of blinding white light to overpower Sophie and finish her too. She hadn't even hit the ground before Cas was running to Dean's side. He fell to his knees beside him. His eyes were still open, dull and glassy, staring blankly up at the clear night sky. Cas placed his hand on Dean's chest, willing him back to life.

"Dean," he said, pressing his hand over Dean's heart, focussing all of his remaining energy on healing him, but something was wrong. "Please, Dean. Please don't leave me." Dean remained completely still. An empty vessel. Cas placed his trembling hands on Dean's face, only then realising that they were covered in cool blood. "Dean," Cas pleaded, "Come back to me."

Almost a minute went by, where Cas could do nothing but kneel by Dean's side, silent tears pouring down his cheeks. And then he heard it. The faintest beat of a heart struggling back to life. Cas pulled back Dean's shirt and saw the knife wound slowly begin to close. And then all at once, with a huge gasp, Dean was back. He sat up immediately, panting and staring around frantically. Then his eyes landed on Cas and he seemed to remember what had happened.

"What the hell, man!" he said.

"I'm so sorry," Cas said. But Dean smiled, still trying to catch his breath.

"Hey, no harm, no foul angelface." But despite his casual words, he pulled Cas in to an embrace and clung tightly to him, and Cas knew that Dean had been as scared as he was.

"I never meant to hurt you," Cas said.

"I know that."

"I love you."

"I know that too." Dean finally let go of Cas and they helped each other to their feet. They stood face to face in the dark. "Don't go back to heaven," Dean said. "Stay with me."

Cas stared at him for a moment, a small frown forming on his brow, his head tilting slightly to the side. He was still no expert on social etiquette or emotions, and maybe it was just wishful thinking but he thought that there was the promise of something behind Dean's words.

"I deserve to be punished, Dean."

"No, you don't. You deserve to be happy. We both do." There it was again, those words that seemed to be laden with extra meaning. Cas reached out and placed a hand on Dean's face, feeling the rough stubble under his palm. Dean smiled softly and Cas realised that his suspicions had been correct. Without any further thought, Cas kissed him and was relieved to find Dean kissing him back. In stark contrast to his skin, Dean's lips were soft and warm and Cas had the strangest sensation that this was exactly where he was supposed to be. Dean's hands were on his face now, and he kept them there even when they broke the kiss.

"Well that's new," Dean said breathily. Cas smiled. "I don't ever want to lose you," he added.

"Neither do I."

"Then quit stabbing me." Cas laughed and tried to look guiltily down at his shoes, but Dean's hands kept him looking squarely in to those green eyes. "God damn it Cas. I love you."

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><p><strong>AN Hey, hope you enjoyed this first instalment. If this series is something that anyone would like me to continue with, please let me know!**


	2. Introductions

"Cas, what the hell are we doing here?" Dean asked a little disoriented from being suddenly and unexpectedly zapped cross-country by an angel. A moment ago, he had been standing in a dim motel room and now he was squinting in the sunlight, in the middle of a very familiar scrapyard. Cas didn't reply, he just dragged him by the hand towards Bobby's front door. "We're supposed to be working a case," Dean protested. Just before they reached the porch, Cas turned around to him and looked at him intently, his blue eyes even bluer in the sun.

"There are so many unconventional things about you, Dean. Your childhood, your lifestyle... us." Dean smiled a little at the sound of that last word. It all still felt very new to him. Very new, and very good. "You deserve some normality," Cas continued. "I've been doing some research and I believe this is the correct social convention."

"What is?" Dean asked, both amused and slightly frustrated by Cas's secrecy. Cas knocked firmly on the scuffed door and waited for the sound of Bobby's footsteps to come along the corridor. When the door opened, Bobby raised an eyebrow and stared at them like they were both insane.

"What the hell are you knocking for? You know the door's open."

"Mr Singer," Cas said, extending his hand. Bobby squinted at him from under his tattered cap. "I know we've met many times before, but I would like to formally introduce myself. I am Castiel, angel of the Lord, and I'm Dean's boyfriend." Dean's face fell. He stared at Bobby with wide eyes, feeling heat rise up his neck and creep on to his face. Bobby just blinked.

"His… boyfriend?"

"Yes," Cas said, with an affirming nod.

"Boyfriend?"

"Yes," Cas repeated. Several agonising seconds passed where Dean dearly wished the ground would swallow him whole. He waited, terrified for Bobby's reaction. At long last Bobby just shook his head and grinned, pulling Cas in to a tight hug.

"It's about damn time," was all he said, releasing Cas and stepping out on to the porch to stand in front of Dean.

"What are you looking so skittish for?" he asked. Dean had been so blindsided by the entire situation that he found he couldn't form a coherent sentence. "Lighten up, ya idjit," Bobby said, embracing Dean and clapping him heartily on the back. "I've never been prouder."


	3. Happy New Year

**A/N A fluffy New Year themed one this week. Enjoy!**

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><p>The sound of voices reverberating from the high stone walls made the cavernous bunker feel warm and full. Dean looked around at the little get-together that he and Sam had planned for New Years. When they were all in one room together, Dean realised how small his dysfunctional little family really was. There was only Garth and his wife, Jody and Alex, Sam, and Cas, all gathered together around the large table.<p>

He smiled when he thought back to a time when he would have killed half the people in this room on sight because they were monsters. But after ten years, his outlook had changed dramatically. Just because Garth and his wife were werewolves didn't make them monsters, and being human didn't make Dean a good person.

Sometimes he wished things were still as simple as they had been when he and Sammy were hunting Shifters and looking for their father, but when he looked over to his brother - who was laughing at something Jodie had just said - he felt almost content for the first time in a long time. Sure, things could be terrible, people had died, they were never going to live a safe or peaceful life, but the little moments like this almost made it all worthwhile.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, Dean twisted open another beer and walked over to Cas who was standing slightly outside the rest of the group.

"You're drinking beer?" Dean asked, looking at the bottle in Cas's hand.

"No, it tastes terrible, but people kept offering me a drink so I took one to make them stop." Dean smiled and took a sip from his own bottle. In the short silence, Dean felt the weight of all the things that were waiting to be said. But instead they just continued to make small-talk.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Cas asked.

"Yeah," Dean said. "It feels good to celebrate something for once." He glanced to Cas who was watching him intently, standing, as ever, just slightly too close.

"Listen, Cas, I think we should talk."

"Hey, guys," Sam said, his deep voice rising above the rest. "Ten seconds to midnight!"

They all gathered around the TV, counting down to midnight. At zero, Garth turned and kissed Bess, Jody hugged Alex, and Cas walked straight up to Dean and planted a kiss on his lips. Dean was so startled that he could do nothing except stand there. He glanced around, but everyone else was so busy with their pleasantries that no one had noticed what had just happened. Cas stepped back from him and stared him straight in the eye, waiting for his reaction. The shock and surprise made it impossible for Dean to form any kind of sensible thought, so instead he had to rely completely on instinct. He grabbed Cas by the hands and pulled him back towards him.

"Happy New Year, Cas," he said, as he stood just an inch from his face. He could feel his slow, warm breath on his skin. He lifted the angel's face to his, with two fingers under his chin. Cas looked from Dean's eyes down to his lips.

"Happy New Year, Dean." Cas whispered. Dean caught his lips in his, resuming the kiss that had ended all too soon. He didn't notice the entire room fall silent.

"Holy balls," Garth said. Dean looked around and immediately felt uncomfortable under the gaze of the group, instinctively reaching out and taking Cas's hand. The long silence grew increasing painful until it was finally broken by Sammy, who came up behind Dean, wrapped an arm around his neck and planted a big kiss on the side of his head.

"Dude!" Dean said, squirming away from his brother. He turned to look at him and was almost surprised to see a wide grin on his face. He looked delighted. Dean pulled him in to a hug, slapping him heartily on the back in an effort to make the whole gesture just a little more manly.

"Happy New Year, Sammy."

"You too, Dean," he said, grabbing Cas next and hugging him tightly. Cas looked startled for a second before smiling with relief.

"Can I say something?" Garth asked, walking over to Dean and putting his arm around him, drawing everyone's attention back towards him and Cas once again.

"I get the feeling you're going to anyway," Dean muttered.

"This is a room of misfits," he said loudly, gesturing dramatically to the group. "Two lycanthropes, an teenaged almost-vamp, an angel, Satan's vessel, Jody…"

"Hey!" she protested, but Garth continued.

"Every one of us has been judged for who we are and the things we have done. The world judges us every day, looks down on us, but not this man." He patted Dean on the chest and looked up at him with a strange expression of admiration and gratitude. "Sure, when he first met my family he wanted to kill them all, but he has never stopped caring about me or any of you." Dean was getting increasingly embarrassed. He could feel heat gathering in his cheeks as everyone watched him. "He deserves this same respect and acceptance in return. You shall not be judged here, my friend."

"Would you shut up?" Jody said from the back of the group. "Nobody gives a damn if he wants to do a dude." Sam and Alex laughed as Jody walked up to Dean. "I'm so glad you're happy," she said with a smile, taking his face in her hands and kissing him on the cheek. "And Bobby would be too." Dean nodded. He wanted to speak, but he knew his voice would crack, so instead he just returned the smile.

"So how long has this been going on?" Sam asked, seemingly unable to wipe the mischievous grin from his face.

"A couple of weeks," Dean said, clearing his throat. Sam laughed.

"More like a month," he said.

"You knew?"

"Of course I knew," said Sam. "I was just waiting until you wanted to tell me." Cas had turned away, standing a little behind Dean, immersed in conversation with Jody. Dean edged a little closer to his brother and asked,

"Is this a really stupid idea?"

"Finally acting on the fact that you're completely in love with Cas? No, I'd say that's a pretty good idea." Dean must have still looked worried because Sam added, "Are you happy?"

He glanced over to Cas who was talking cheerfully to Jody. Cas must have felt his gaze because he turned to Dean and smiled at him. Dean felt the last little speck of doubt vanish from him as he looked back to Sam. "I've never been happier."


	4. Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

**A/N Just a short little headcanon today, couldn't resist throwing Gabriel in to the mix. Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>It was just beginning to get dark when Sam came out the back door of the hotel and headed for the car. Dean and Cas were standing a little way away, talking and laughing. Sam packed his things in to the trunk before walking around to the front of the car and leaning against it, watching his brother curiously.<p>

"What do you think they're talking about?" said a voice beside him. Sam glanced around to see Gabriel standing there, leaning slightly on the hood of the car, arms folded.

"No idea," said Sam, watching them talk, unable to hear more than a general mumble and the occasional laugh. Dean said something with a playful smile and reached out to tug on Cas's coat. Cas returned the smile and then looked down at his feet, perhaps trying to hide his embarrassment. When Cas spoke again, Sam took the liberty of providing a voice-over for the scene in front of him. He put on his best gravelly voice and said,

"Dean, we share a profound bond but I can't effectively convey my emotions. So instead I will just stand very close to you and stare longingly in to your eyes." Gabriel chuckled and assumed the role of Dean.

"That's okay, Cas, I act tough but I cry all the time; I'm totally in touch with my emotions. I think you're awesome and I love you more than pie and beer you sexy son of a bitch." They continued watching the conversation, occasionally speculating on what was being said. After a while, Sam realised something.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" he asked. Gabriel gave a kind of nonchalant grunt.

"Death is such a fluid concept." Sam didn't bother asking anymore questions. He had learned over the past decade that sometimes it was easier to accept things rather than fret over the details.

Over by the wall of the hotel, Dean leaned down to pick up his bag, just as Cas did the same thing. They both stood back up at the same time, almost banging heads, and when they straightened up completely, their faces were just inches apart. They both gave the same embarrassed smile, both avoiding eye contact.

"I can see what's happening," said Gabriel.

"And they don't have a clue," said Sam.

Gabriel chuckled again. "I don't know about you, but I think it's about time for some brotherly intervention."

"What do you have in mind?" Sam asked, frowning at the enigmatic angel beside him. Gabriel said nothing, he simply clicked his fingers and Dean and Cas vanished and the bag that Dean had been holding fell to the ground with a soft thump. "What did you do?" Sam asked, straightening up suddenly and turning on Gabriel, towering over the much smaller man.

"Relaaaax," Gabriel said. "They'll be back in twenty four hours."

"Where are they?"

"I sent them upstate to a little log cabin. I hear it gets pretty cold up there this time of year. They might even be snowed in," he added with mock concern. "Pity there's only one blanket and few bottles of scotch to keep them warm."

"Yeah, that's a real shame," Sam said, his worry fading and a little smile crossing his face. They stood for a short while, staring at the spot where their brothers had been standing, the only sound was the occasional car rushing past the front of the hotel.

"You wanna get something to eat?" Gabriel said. Sam looked at him, frowning. There was something strangely likeable about him, but Sam couldn't help feeling suspicious. Past experience told him that he should never completely let his guard down around the trickster.

"You're an angel," he said. "You don't eat."

"I'm an archangel," Gabriel corrected. "I do what I want."

"Fine," Sam said, looking down at his watch. "Seems like I've got time to kill anyway." He walked over to the side of the hotel and picked up Dean's abandoned bag and threw it into the car beside his.

"What do you feel like?" Sam asked, looking up and down the street for nearby restaurants.

"Kielbasa?" Gabriel suggested. It took Sam a few seconds to realise why the word sounded so familiar.

"Uh... no."

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><p><strong>AN Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a review if you're enjoying this series! I'm planning to do a follow up to this story from Dean and Cas's point of view so we can find out what happens in that cabin, so if you'd like to see that, please let me know! CMPerry x**


	5. Visiting Hours

**Slightly longer one this week, starring crazy!Cas during his time in the mental hospital.**

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><p>Dean walked along the corridor of the mental hospital, uneasiness twisting at his stomach. When he turned a corner, he saw Meg walking towards him dressed in pale blue scrubs, her dark hair bouncing around her shoulders. He could almost feel her angry gaze burning in to him. They stopped face to face outside a locked ward door.<p>

"You finally bothered to turn up," she said, coldly.

"How is he?" Dean asked, ignoring her comment.

"Not good," she said. Dean raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Care to elaborate?" he snapped.

"He's crazier than a bag of cats," she said flatly. "And he asks for you every day. I tried calling you."

"I know that."

"So you just thought you'd ignore me and let your best friend rot in here and pretend he doesn't exist?"

"Shut up, Meg. I'm not going to be lectured on morality by a demon."

"Oh I'm sorry," she sneered. "You're right, clearly I'm the amoral one. Remind me again which one of us has dropped everything to stay with Cas?"

"There's nothing I can do for him!" Dean argued.

"Oh please. You haven't heard him, the things he says. He asks for you all day and then at night he keeps the entire ward awake with his screaming. It's a real treat." The guilt twisting at Dean's stomach became so intense that he thought he might throw up. "Oh wipe that injured puppy look off your face, Dean. If you were so concerned about him, you'd have visited weeks ago."

"Would you just let me see him?" Meg didn't say anything else, she just swiped her card on the panel beside the door and it clicked open.

"First door on the right," she said. Dean could feel his hands shaking. He wasn't aware of putting one foot in front of the other, but a moment later he appeared at Cas's door. He knocked once and entered, terrified by what he might find. Cas was lying on the hospital bed with his back to the door. Dean noticed four cuffs, one on each corner of the bed, ready and waiting to tie the angel down.

"Hey buddy," Dean croaked. Cas sat up slowly and turned around. Dean barely contained a gasp when he saw his face. He was so pale, almost grey, with dark smudges under his eyes as though he hadn't slept in a year.

"Dean?" Cas walked towards him, his blue eyes wide but dull, as though they had lost the life in them. "Are you real?"

"Course I am." Cas stared at him for a moment longer before pulling him in to a hug so tight that Dean stumbled backwards slightly. "Woah, buddy, you okay?" he asked, although realised it was a stupid question.

"I'm a little better now you're here," he said. Dean put his arms around him and returned the embrace, glad for a moment that Cas couldn't see his face. Finally Cas took a step back and smoothed out the front of the hospital gown he was wearing.

"How are you, Dean?" he asked.

"Never mind me. What's going on with you?"

"Not a lot. I think I'm fairly lucid now, but it's hard to tell." He frowned and stared down at his bare feet. "It's frightening," he said, quietly, "not being able to trust your own mind." Dean was unable to hold himself together any longer, and he felt hot tears build in his eyes.

"Cas, what can I do?" he asked, his voice cracking with desperation. But instead of answering him, Cas replied with another question.

"What time is it?"

"About 7."

"A.M. or P.M.?"

"P.M."

Cas looked out the window at the gathering dark and looked confused for a second, as though realising that he should have known it was night time. "Will you stay with me?" he asked, he looked up at Dean before adding, "I don't like it here at night."

"Of course," Dean said. "Anything you need."

"Thank you." Cas turned and sat back down on the bed. "If I start acting strangely, I'm sorry. I don't mean to."

"Hey, don't you worry about any of that," Dean said. "It doesn't matter to me. I'll be here no matter what." Cas fiddled sadly with the edge of the white bed sheet and Dean sat beside him. "You look exhausted."

"I am."

"Can't you sleep?"

"No, I'm a celestial being, I don't have the ability."

"Have you ever tried?" Dean asked.

"I don't know how."

"Come here," Dean said, suddenly determined to do something good for Cas. He kicked off his shoes and lay back on the bed, pulling Cas towards him. "Lie down," he commanded, and Cas obeyed, childlike. Dean put his arm around him and Cas lay his head on Dean's chest. "Just relax." But Cas remained staring straight ahead at the wall.

"Cas, baby, close your eyes." He did as he was told but for a few long minutes Dean knew he was still wide awake, his breathing shallow and a little uneven, but Dean wasn't prepared to give up on this yet. He absent-mindedly traced little circles on Cas's arm with his finger tips, feeling the angel's skin warm against his. He couldn't think of any words that could make Cas better, so he hoped more than anything that, celestial being or not, Cas would manage to drift off into oblivion for a while.

Ten more minutes passed when at last, Dean saw him fall asleep. His tense shoulders visibly relaxed, his breathing became deep and even and the frown that marred his forehead vanished, leaving him looking peaceful again. Dean didn't know how long he watched him sleep. Hours probably. At some point in the middle of the night, Meg came to the door, and Dean looked at her with such aggressive warning that she backed straight out again. No one was going to wake his angel, not until he had slept for as long as he wanted.

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><p>When Dean opened his eyes, the room was full of sunlight and Cas wasn't beside him. Dean sat up and glanced around to find him crouched in the corner of the white room, hands on his head, muttering to himself. Dean approached him tentatively.<p>

"Cas? You okay?" He didn't even look up, he just continued muttering something incomprehensible. Dean crouched beside him, reaching out to touch his arm, but Cas jerked away from him, his voice rising slightly, but still not breaking the stream of words that Dean realised was fast and fluent Enochian. Before he could say anything else, Dean heard the door click open. He turned to see Meg standing in the doorway again. Taking one last look at Cas, Dean stood and joined her in the hallway.

"What's going on with him?" She peered in to the room and observed the hunched shape in the corner.

"He's bat-shit crazy. That's what's going on with him." Dean held back the stab of anger he felt at Meg's callousness.

"He wasn't like this last night."

She pointed through the little window and said, "_That _is one of the many variations of Cas running around in that messed up little melon of his. He's not the same Cas you met a few hours ago."

"How many others are there?"

"Hell if I know. I've seen Dopey, Grumpy, Bashful... you met Clingy last night. And then there's Bitey, Screamy and Suicidey." Dean felt the colour drain from his face. She observed Cas for a little longer before adding, "I don't know what to call this one."

"What can I do?" he asked, so worried for Cas that he didn't even care that he showing weakness in front of the demon.

"There's nothing you can do," she said.

"There must be something."

"Do you think I haven't tried?" Meg said, turning on him. "You think I haven't tried _everything_ to make him better? It kills me seeing him like this so quit acting like you're the only one who's affected by this you self-absorbed ass." Dean just stared at her, taken aback by her sudden outburst, but more than that, by the genuine emotion in her voice. But as quickly as it arrived, her anger vanished to be replaced by an expression of complete defeat. "Then again, I'm not the one he calls out for in the middle of the night," she said, raising her eyebrows. "Maybe you can do something I can't."

Dean went back in to the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He watched Cas, with no idea how he was supposed to help Cas when a hospital full of doctors couldn't.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Dean asked. Cas bent his head lower, hiding his face. "After you dragged me out of hell I mean. You were so dramatic and serious with your big angel wings." Cas had stopped talking to himself, and he had gone still, so Dean kept going. "And I thought you were the biggest ass I'd ever met, so I stabbed you. I never thought you'd turn out to be my best friend."

"I remember," Cas whispered. "I think." He lowered his hands from his face and turned to Dean. Dean walked over to him and extended his hand to him, helping Cas to his feet.

"I don't know what to believe anymore," Cas said. "If… if a person is made up of all of their memories, what happens when you can't trust those memories?" he said, looking worried. "I'm scared I'm losing myself."

"You listen to me," Dean said, taking Cas's face in his hands. "You are Castiel, angel of the Lord who gripped me tight and raised me from perdition." Cas smiled a little, seemingly relieved that he remembered those familiar words. "I won't let you go anywhere. I promise you."

Cas nodded slowly. It had only been an hour since he had woken but he looked drained again, unrecognisable as the angel Dean had met a few years ago.

"I never wanted any of this," Dean said. "Maybe... maybe we could have found some other way to save Sammy," but even as he said it, Dean knew that had never been an option. "You should never have had to go through this, Cas."

"Even if there had been another way to save Sam, I would still have volunteered to take this burden from him."

"Why?"

"Because Sam is your brother. You love him. I couldn't let you lose someone you love."

"But if you don't get better, I'm gonna lose you." Cas just smiled sadly.

"You can live without me, Dean. You can't live without Sam."

"No, that's not true," Dean said. He blinked and he felt hot tears slip down his face. "I need you, Cas, I always will." There were tears in Cas's eyes now too, and Dean couldn't do anything but pull Cas in to his arms, selfishly seeking comfort from the very person he was supposed to be looking after.

"Break it up lovebirds," came Meg's voice from behind them. She smiled at Cas, a kind of dejected smile that didn't quite touch her eyes, as though she was wearing it as a mask. She handed Cas a little up of pills. "You're looking better," she commented.

"I feel better," Cas said. Meg gave his arm a quick squeeze, her smile genuine this time.

"I'm glad." She turned to leave but when she reached the door she turned back. "You know they say love is just a kind of madness."

"So?" Dean asked.

"So," she said, turning to him with a smirk. "It looks like we're all mad here." She closed the door behind her, leaving Dean with Cas, who was staring at him, head tilted slightly. Dean looked in to Cas's inquisitive blue eyes.

"Was she right?" Cas asked. "Are you…crazy?"

"About you?" Dean asked. "I'm a freakin' lunatic."

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><p><strong>AN Thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you've enjoyed any of these stories so far, your feedback means the world.**


	6. Starry Starry Night

Dean looked at his reflection in the dark car window, running his fingers through his hair until it was sitting exactly the way he liked it.

"Would you get over here?" Sam said, who had been holding out a cold bottle of beer for him for almost a minute.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Dean said, finally turning away from his reflection. He joined his brother sitting on the hood of the car, staring up at the sky. They had taken something of a detour out in to the desert, away from civilisation and the city lights so they could watch the stars like they used to when they were younger. The silence and the stillness helped lay to rest the worries and expectations that ran constantly around in their heads. Sam looked over at Dean.

"Your hair looks exactly the same as it did when you rolled out of bed this morning."

"I think I look fabulous," Dean said, with a supermodel style pout. Sam laughed and handed him his beer.

"Jeez, Dean, how gay are you?" Dean was about to laugh off Sam's question, but some strange kind of determination took over him. He put his bottle on the ground and turned to his brother.

"I'm not going to lie to you, man. I _am_ gay. Well, bi probably." Sam grinned over at him but his smile dropped when he realised Dean wasn't kidding.

"Are you serious?" There was a long pause as Dean braced himself to let go of the secret he had been holding so tightly to.

"Yeah, me and Cas are a thing," he said, trying to make it sound as casual as he could.

"You're… what?" Sam asked. He was staring at his brother with apparent disbelief, mouth slightly open.

"We just hook up from time to time, it's not a big deal."

"Hey," Sam said, sharply, his demeanour changing rapidly from surprise to anger. "You'd better not mean that, because if you're leading Cas on I will kill you." It was Dean's turn to look surprised.

"Uh… this wasn't exactly the reaction I was expecting."

"Give me a break Dean, the entire planet knew about your feelings for Cas before you did. But you'd better not screw him over. He deserves better."

"Okay, Sammy, chill," Dean said raising his hands in surrender. "I'm into him, okay? Like, a lot." Sam's aggressive expression dropped and a smile spread across his face.

"I knew it."

"Let's just put a pin in the emotional crap, I don't wanna talk about it."

"Do you love him?" Sam asked, grinning at him like a lunatic, as though he had been waiting for this moment for years.

"Shut up, Sam."

"Yeah, but do you?"

"I said can it, Sam. I'm not talking about this."

"He loves you."

"I know that."

"So do you love him?"

"Sammy I swear to God if you don't drop this subject I will drop you."

"Fine," he said, exasperated but still amused, tossing his empty bottle in to the cooler and retreating back into the car. Once the door slammed shut, Dean glanced quickly up to the star-littered sky.

"I don't know if you heard any of that," he said in to the silence. "But I do... y'know… love you. Or whatever."

"I love you too," came Cas's deep voice from beside him. Dean almost leaped in to the air with surprise. Cas was standing just an inch away from his face, a little smile on his lips. Heart still banging against his ribs, completely forgetting that Sammy was in the car, Dean took Cas's hands and pulled him in to a kiss. A few seconds later, Sam started pounding on the horn of the car and cheering.

"Can we go?" Dean asked, feeling suddenly flustered by his audience. The words were barely out of his mouth before they disappeared from the dark, sandy expanse of the Arizona desert and reappeared in what looked like an incredibly expensive hotel room. Dean felt himself relax instantly now that he was alone with Castiel. "Where are we?" he asked.

"Dubai."

"Sweet," Dean said, eyeing up the huge television, the king sized bed, and the entire apple pie waiting for him on the end table. He caught Cas's eye and grinned, putting his arm around the angel's shoulders and pulling him in beside him, pressing his lips to his forehead. "I love it."

"I thought you might."

* * *

><p>Sam sat in the car for a short while, trying to wipe the grin from his face. He couldn't believe that Dean and Cas had finally acted on the fact that they were completely and utterly devoted to each other. It was about time they got bit of happiness, they deserved that. Sam slid over to the driver's seat, ready to start the long drive back to the motel. He reached for the keys in the ignition but his hand fell through the air, finding nothing. He glanced around the car, checked his pockets and then realised that the keys were still in Dean's jacket.<p>

"Son of a bitch," he muttered. For a second he considered hot-wiring the car, but Dean would almost definitely beat him to death if he started stripping wires and tampering with his Baby. So instead, he stepped out of the car in to the almost complete blackness, grabbed two blankets, another beer and a bag of chips from the trunk and settled down for a long, cold night in the dark. He should have been pissed, angry at Dean for forgetting all about him, but he could feel the involuntary smile still on his lips and knew that he didn't mind one bit.


	7. New Dawn, New Day, New Life

Dean walked alone down the dark street, a cold wind whipping around him, and felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the screen.

_Sam calling…_

He clicked reject, sending the phone call to join the other fifteen missed calls from his brother, and shoved the cellphone back in to his pocket. Somewhere along the street he head the metallic clang of a trashcan falling over. He thought nothing of it, assuming it was a result of the wind, or some drunk guy staggering home from a night on the Strip. But then he heard a woman cry out. He immediately broke in to a run, sprinting towards the noise until he came across two figures grappling at the entrance to a narrow, unlit street. One was a woman, desperately clinging to her purse while a much taller, broader man was trying to pull it from her.

"Hey," Dean called. The man looked up, and doubled his efforts to steal the bag before Dean could reach him. Finally, the bag slipped from the woman's hands and he turned to flee. In a few long strides, Dean caught up with him, grabbed him by the collar and threw him back down the dark side-street. He stood facing Dean, who was standing poised to grab him if he tried to run again. The man looked about fifty, with a scruffy beard and wild looking eyes that were darting around, looking for a way out.

"Hand it over," Dean commanded, reaching his hand out for the purse. Instead the man pulled a short knife from the back of his jeans. Dean looked at it with slight amusement.

"Oh, please," he scoffed. The man lunged for him but Dean easily overpowered him, grabbing him by the wrist and neck and pinning him swiftly against the wall. "Drop it." The man stared at him, his small eyes frightened now. The knife fell to the ground with a high pitched clatter and Dean reached out with his foot and kicked it to the other side of the road. "Now the purse," he ordered. The man hesitated this time and Dean pushed a little harder on his neck. He spluttered and coughed, managing to choke out,

"Okay, okay." He dropped the purse and Dean released him at last. The man doubled over, panting, his hands massaging his neck. "You're a crazy person," he gasped, looking up at Dean.

"Get out of here, assclown," Dean growled, straightening the guy up by the front of his shirt and tossing him roughly on to the main street. As soon as he was on the open road, the man ran and didn't stop even as he disappeared around the corner. Dean dusted himself off, feeling his pulse a little quicker than normal from the short fight, but he didn't feel any of the usual exhilaration. He just felt numb.

The woman was standing at the street corner, pressed against the wall, clutching at her coat and staring at Dean with slight concern. Dean picked up the purse and handed it back to her.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied. She took a long look at Dean, and, apparently deciding that he wasn't a threat, she added, "thank you."

"What are you doing out here alone?" Dean asked. "It's 3am."

"I was out with some friends," she said, "but they all went home. My house is only a couple streets away. I thought I'd be okay."

"Let me walk you home then," Dean offered, with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. She thanked him again as they made their way along the road and introduced herself as Marlene. As they walked under the street lamps, her face came in and out of view, lit up by the yellowish glow from above. Dean supposed she was quite pretty, maybe a little younger than him, with long dark hair. Their walk took around ten minutes, and over the course of it, her shock seemed to dissipate and she became cheerful and talkative.

Soon they reached her front door.

"Would you like to come in for a coffee?" she asked. "I really owe you for helping me out." She held the door open for him, her eyes promising more than a hot drink. Dean considered her offer for a moment. They had only just met… she could be a crazy demon or a witch or a shifter…

"Sure," he said, at last. "Why the hell not." They stepped in to the warmth together. She clicked on a light on her way to the kitchen while Dean looked around. Her house was small but well kept, open plan with all-neutral furniture. It looked like something from a catalogue. Dean wandered around the living room, examining the few ornaments and framed photographs as Marlene started brewing the coffee. A moment later, however, he heard footsteps behind him and he turned around to see her standing close behind him.

"I don't really want coffee," she admitted, stretching up on tiptoe to kiss Dean softly on the lips. More out of habit than desire, Dean kissed her back, one hand moving to her hair while the other wrapped around her waist.

"It was only a purse," Dean said a few moments later, as she started pulling him by the hand up the stairs.

"This isn't about the purse." Dean looked at her questioningly. "Basically," she explained, "you're incredibly hot." Dean smiled as she continued. "You only get one shot at life, Dean. I'm not going to waste mine on missed opportunities. Do what makes you happy. And right now I want to do you." He laughed.

"I think you might be on to something there," he said. She gave him a mischievous grin and he hurried up the stairs after her.

* * *

><p>The rising sun filled the unfamiliar room with orange light as Dean lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Marlene rolled over with a soft moan, shuffling further under the covers. Dean looked at her, with her makeup smudged and her hair sticking up a little, and realised in the warm morning light that she was even prettier than he had thought. He kept thinking back to what she had said on the stairs about missed opportunities and seizing the moment. He had been running from everything for weeks, from his brother, from Cas, his feelings. But lying there he realised with a rush of mingled relief and fear that he couldn't run anymore. Because no matter how hard he tried, even after having great sex with a beautiful woman, all he could think about was an angel in a trench coat.<p>

He picked up his cell from the bedside table. He had two more missed calls from Sam and three texts.

_-Dean where are you? _

_-Please call me back._

_-Dean I swear to God if you don't contact me soon I'm going to hunt you down and beat you to death. Cas is really worried. So am I. _

He slipped out of bed and dressed quietly, trying to spare himself the awkward early morning conversation. Marlene didn't even stir. He was about to walk out the front door when he felt a little stab of guilt and doubled back to scrawl a quick goodbye on the notepad by the phone.

_Stop wandering the streets at night, you'll get yourself killed… or rescued by a devastatingly handsome stranger. One or the other._

_P.S. Thanks for the advice. Going to do what makes me happy._

As he emerged in to the still morning, he couldn't help the bounce in his step as he walked across town. He pulled his cellphone from his pocket and dialled.

The phone barely rang once before a concerned voice answered.

"Dean?" Just the sound of his voice was enough to make Dean feel more alive than he had in weeks.

"Hey, Cas."

"Where are you?"

"Relax, buddy," he said, and even as he spoke he could hear Sam's agitated voice in the background. "I'm coming home."

"You've been gone for almost a month, Dean. What have you been doing?"

"Oh you know," he said, spotting his car in the distance, "having an identity crisis, trying to come to terms with the fact that you might be the love of my life. The usual."

There was silence from the other end of the phone, and he instantly regretted his off-the-cuff remark.

"Uh, Cas? You there?" Dean waited for a reply, feeling increasingly tense despite only a couple of seconds passing by.

"Yes, I'm here," Cas said eventually, and Dean could hear the smile in his voice. "Now hurry up and come home to me." Dean grinned as he approached the car, because he knew that every step was bringing him closer to Kansas, closer to happiness, and closer to Cas.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Feel free to leave a review, positive or constructive! It's so helpful to hear from you guys.**


	8. Say Something

"Cas, you look miserable," Dean said as he sat down in the study opposite the angel, sandwich in one hand and a beer in the other. When Cas didn't react, Dean pulled away the book that he had been staring at for the past twenty minutes, forcing him to look up at him. "What's wrong with you?" Cas's gaze flickered from Dean back to the dark wooden table.

"You've had many romantic partners, right?" Cas asked.

"Uh… I wouldn't say many," Dean said, a little uncertainly. "Some, I guess. Why?" Cas hesitated again, taking a slow, deep breath he asked,

"What happens when you find someone who… who makes you happier than you ever thought you could be, and when you aren't together you feel like you left part of yourself with them… and there's an emptiness that nothing else will fill until you can be near them again." Cas said all of this without removing his eyes from his hands in front of him.

"Well aren't you a dark horse?" Dean said, punching Cas on the shoulder and grinning at him, perhaps overcompensating slightly for the small but inexplicable pang of jealously that prodded at his insides. "You've got the hots for someone? Who is she? She an angel?"

"Dean." Cas said, looking him straight in the eye, an expression of such defeat and confusion on his face that Dean's smile dropped instantly. He pulled his chair closer to the table.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

"It's all very complicated," he said. "But I don't think my feelings are reciprocated." Dean patted Cas on the arm sympathetically.

"Aw, that sucks, man. I've been there," Dean said. Cas looked at him, holding his gaze for a split second too long, as though waiting for him to say something, but Dean had no idea what.

"So what do I do?" Cas asked, at last.

"Getting some distance is probably your best bet," he said. "Don't see her, don't talk to her, don't even call her. Just cut her out of your life until you feel like you can start moving on again."

Cas frowned. "You mean I should just run from the problem?"

"You can't run from something like this. Believe me," Dean said, with a dry laugh. "It'll follow you for a long time, but the more you're reminded of her, the harder it's going to be."

"It seems extreme," Cas said.

"Yeah, I know. But it's effective. It's the best way to avoid getting hurt." Cas paused for a second, as though he was waiting to see if Dean was finished. When Dean didn't say anything else, Cas's shoulders seemed to sag, a look of defeat coming over his face.

"It's a little late for that," he muttered, pulling his arm away from Dean and walking down the corridor towards his room. Dean was about to follow him when Sam appeared at the end of the corridor with his laptop and several books in his arms. He greeted Cas as he passed him, but Cas didn't reply. When Sam reached the table, he dumped his things in front of Dean and turned to him, frowning.

"What's up with him?" he asked.

"It's kinda personal," Dean said, aware that Cas could probably hear everything they were saying with his weird angel hearing. Sam followed Dean's gaze along the now empty corridor, taking one last look after the troubled angel before opening his laptop and beginning to tell Dean about a case he had found. But Dean wasn't really listening. He was still staring blankly down the corridor, an uncomfortable knot in his stomach that he couldn't quite define.

"Dean?" Sam said, evidently realising that his brother wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention.

"Sorry, man. I'm really tired. Fill me in in the morning?"

"Sure," Sam said, watching Dean curiously. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Dean said, flashing him a quick smile. "Night, Sammy."

"Night." Dean headed immediately for Cas's room. He stopped in front of the door, hand raised to knock. But he didn't move. He stood for almost a minute preparing to knock and then deciding against it. Eventually he turned away and headed for his own bedroom, resolving to talk to Cas in the morning.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Dean knocked on his brother's bedroom door with his free hand, the other one occupied by an enormous plate of toast. Sam was sitting on his bed, his laptop and more books spread out in front of him.<p>

"Breakfast?" Dean asked.

"Thanks," Sam said, grabbing a slice of toast smothered in peanut butter. "So like I was saying last night, I think there's a nest of vamps about an hour from here. You want to clear 'em out?"

"Sure," Dean said, chewing on his third slice of toast. "You seen Cas this morning?"

"Yeah, he went out earlier."

"Where to?"

"He didn't say."

"Why didn't you ask?" Dean said, his tone a little more accusatory than he intended.

"It was none of my business," Sam replied snappily. Dean mumbled an apology and Sam studied him, concerned. "You worried about him or something?"

"Nah," Dean lied, shoving the last of his toast in to his mouth. "He'll be home soon enough. Now let's go gank some vamps."

* * *

><p>Three days and thirty vampires later, Sam and Dean were making their way back to the bunker. It had been a pretty enjoyable weekend, straightforward, slightly dangerous; it reminded Dean of some of their earliest cases together before things were complicated by apocalypses, angels, and demons.<p>

Dean had left a note pinned to Cas's door before they left, telling him where they would be but he hadn't come to join them. Dean wouldn't have worried, he would have just assumed that Cas was still depressed about his love life, except that he had been completely incommunicado; he wasn't replying to texts, calls or even prayers.

As soon as they reached the bunker, Dean hurried inside, but he found everything exactly the way they had left it, the note still tacked, untouched, to Cas's door.

"He'll turn up," Sam said. Dean grunted his agreement, but couldn't help worrying.

* * *

><p>Three more days passed and Dean was getting desperate. He tried to convince himself again and again that Cas was just busy, or working a case of his own, or visiting heaven, but none of those reasons explained why he wasn't returning Dean's calls.<p>

"Still not heard from Cas?" Sam asked, sitting down at the large table, watching Dean pace the floor.

"No. I'm starting to worry, man."

"Did he say anything before he left?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno," Sam said, "anything that might be a clue about where he's gone?"

"He was acting kinda weird I guess. He was asking me for relationship advice." Sam raised his eyebrows.

"He's got a girlfriend?"

"No that's the problem. He said it was all too complicated and they couldn't ever be together so he wanted to know how to get over someone."

"And what did you tell him?"

"That he needed to put as much distance between them as he could..." As soon as he said it aloud Dean's heart plummeted. He looked down at Sam who was staring at him with the same shocked recognition that he felt.

"Oh my god." Dean sat down opposite Sam, covering his mouth with his hands. He was surprised, blindsided by the revelation that Cas had been talking about him, but those feelings didn't seem to extend to the back of his mind, where a little voice was telling him that really, he had known all along.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Dean said. "If I'd known the whole story I..." he trailed off before he could finish, standing again and resuming his pacing, running his hands through his hair. "And now my own advice has come back to bite me in the ass and I might never see him again."

Dean glanced to his brother when he realised that he wasn't sharing his worry, he was just sitting there, watching Dean almost sympathetically.

"What?" Dean snapped.

"Maybe this is for the best," Sam said, hesitantly.

"Are you out of your mind? This is Cas we're talking about."

"Look, Dean. All I'm saying is that your advice was good advice. If he really does have feelings for you, then we need to give him space."

"But if I'd known he was talking about me I would never have said any of that. I would have…"

"What?" Sam asked. "Pretended to be gay for the rest of your life to avoid hurting his feelings?"

"No…" Dean said, rubbing his eyes in exasperation. "I just don't want that last conversation to be our last, y'know?" Sam stood up, still watching his brother with a kind of exasperated pity.

"He's my friend too, Dean. Hell, he's like family. I love him and I'll miss him but don't you think we should just give the poor guy some peace? I mean, imagine how he's feeling. This must be killing him, and seeing you again is only going to make it worse." Dean was suddenly confused, not to mention frustrated that his brother had made a good point. The last thing he wanted was to make things worse for Cas, but how could he let him go thinking that Dean didn't care for him? His mind was already made up as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the stairs.

"If it was anyone else…" he said. "_Anyone_ else, I'd let them go. But not Cas." Before Dean could reach the door his brother had run up the stairs behind him, pushing past him and blocking his exit.

Dean waited for Sam to argue with him but he didn't speak, he just stood in the doorway toe to toe with Dean, towering over his big brother.

"Sammy, get out of my way," Dean said, quietly.

Sam continued to stare him down, and Dean felt his frustration rise in to anger as Sam stood in the way of him getting to Cas. But before he could threaten his brother, Sam seemed to reach some kind of realisation in his mind, and with a small nod, he pushed open the door for Dean.

"I guess we'd better go find him then."

* * *

><p>It took them the best part of a week to track down Cas, and by then end of it, Dean was almost unbearable to be around. He didn't feel it at the time, but he was incredibly grateful to Sam for accompanying him and tolerating his increasingly short temper.<p>

Part of the reason for his frustration was the fact that Sam seemed to have some kind of unique insight in to Cas's mind than Dean didn't. While Dean had next to no idea where the angel might be, Sam made correct prediction after correct prediction and soon they tracked Cas down to a motel in Sioux City, Iowa.

Dean pulled up hastily outside the motel, straddling three parking spaces. Sam ran in to the reception to find out which room Cas was in, but Dean was too impatient to wait. He began going from room to room, banging on doors and looking through windows. Sam came hurrying out a few moments later, pulling Dean up a short flight of metal stairs.

"It's this one," Sam said, nodding to the scraped and peeling door in front of them. Dean waited for him to knock but instead Sam took a step back, gesturing for Dean to go in.

"You're not coming in?" Dean asked. Sam shook his head,

"I think this one's on you." Dean had been so preoccupied with finding Cas that he hadn't even begun to think about what he might do or say when he actually found him. He felt Sam watching him, his expectant gaze pushing Dean towards the door, his own fear keeping him back. At last he knocked, holding his breath as he waited for a sound, a footstep, the click of a lock, but everything was silent.

Unwilling to wait any longer, he glanced quickly around before throwing his weight against the door. The old, damp wood splintered easily and the door swung open, revealing a dim, empty room. The only sign that Cas had been there at all was that day's newspaper, lying open on the small desk. The apprehension Dean had been feeling dropped away leaving nothing but bitter disappointment. He sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands and Sam leaned against the doorframe.

"He's gone," Dean said.

"We'll find him."

"What do you mean 'we'?" Dean asked bitterly. "You're the one that's tracked him down this far. I've been useless. I don't seem to know a damn thing about him."

Sam came and sat down next to his brother. "Cas said once that you two have a profound bound," Sam said.

"So?"

"So, whenever you need him, he's there in a second. Whenever I need him, I need to go find him. I guess I've gotten pretty good at it. It's not a reflection on how well you know him, you just never need to track him down because he's always by your side."

"Yeah well he's not by my side now," Dean said, Sam's explanation providing him with little comfort.

"You know," Sam added, "tracking down Cas is a lot like tracking down you. You have a lot in common, even your bolt-holes and escape strategies."

Dean scoffed. "We've got nothing in common. We don't even like the same music." The moment he said this, his eye was drawn to the newspaper on the table, left open on the entertainment pages. Dean jumped to his feet, tearing out the page and heading for the door.

"Suit up, Sammy," he said. "I know where he is."

* * *

><p>Half an hour later they pulled up in front of the Orpheum Theatre, having changed out of their jeans and plaid shirts and into their suits. Dean flashed his FBI badge as he ran passed the doormen and in to the theatre. Before he could run in to the main hall, he realised that Sam wasn't beside him. He turned to see Sam a few paced behind, looking reluctant.<p>

"You're not coming?" Dean asked.

"Like I said, man, I really think this is something you should do by yourself."

"Okay."

"I'll go get dinner or something, I'll catch up with you later. Take all the time you need."

"Okay."

"Good luck."

"Okay," Dean said again, robotically, his mind preoccupied with what might happen in a few moments. "Sorry," he said, pulling himself out of his panicked trance. "I mean thanks. I'll see you later."

As soon as Sam was gone, Dean walked towards the main room of the theatre. As he got closer, he was able to hear the soft sound of a violin reverberating through the auditorium, which was quickly joined by the surge of an entire orchestra bursting in to a familiar symphony.

Dean opened the door to the hall, the music growing in volume as he stepped inside. At least three hundred people were sitting in rows, enthralled by the orchestra playing on the brightly lit stage, far at the other end of the room.

It didn't take Dean long to locate Cas and his pale trench coat against the darkness of the room. He hurried up to him and touched him on the arm. Cas looked around and his eyes widened.

"Dean."

"Come on," Dean said, pulling him out of his chair and in to the much brighter foyer. Once the door slid shut, the sound of the orchestra became muffled. Cas was the first one to speak, and it hadn't been what Dean had been expecting to hear.

"I was watching that," he said, curtly. "It was Mozart's -"

"Symphony number thirty eight, I know," Dean said, and Cas looked at him with surprise, and Dean was suddenly a little embarrassed. "I heard you listening to it a few weeks ago," he said, shrugging. "I kinda liked it." Cas didn't say anything, he just continued staring indifferently at Dean, his usually kind blue eyes icy. "Cas we really need to talk." The angel looked unsure, hostile even, before finally accepting the request.

"Yes, I suppose we do."

They walked in complete silence from the theatre, got in to the car without saying a word and drove off. It was painful. The twenty minute drive back to the motel felt like a year. Each second crept by in tense awkwardness with Cas looking stiffly out of the window, Dean's palms growing sweaty on the steering wheel.

"Dean," Cas began. Dean turned to look at him, but he didn't seem to know what to say next, so the remainder of the car journey passed under the shadow of that unfinished sentence.

They entered Cas's motel room and Dean wedged the broken door shut behind them. Almost driven mad by the anticipation, Dean couldn't contain himself any longer.

"Cas, are you in love with me?" he asked, rounding on the angel.

Cas stood stock-still, refusing to meet his eye. All of his efforts to hold himself together, to disguise himself behind hostility, seemed to finally fail. He looked utterly defeated; ashamed and broken.

"Because you know, if you are," Dean continued, "I think that might be the best news I've ever had." Cas looked up in utter surprise, and when he saw the honesty in Dean's eyes he let out a little noise half way between a laugh and a soft sob.

"Damn it, Cas, I wish you'd told me," he continued.

"I thought you would turn me away."

"I would never…" but Dean knew there was nothing he could say, so instead he pulled Cas in to his arms. "I'm sorry, Cas, I've been so stupid," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry I ever let you think that I don't love you." They stood in each other's arms for a long time, both savouring the relief that they were finally back together. Eventually Cas stepped back from him, eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry too, Dean. I should never have left. These past few weeks have been torture."

"Ditto," he said. After two weeks of fretting over what he might say to Cas, he took one look at the angel and he knew. "Before you left, you asked me what to do when you find someone who makes you happier than you ever thought you could be," Dean said, having played the conversation over in his mind so many times that Cas's exact words came back to him with ease. "I told you that you should get some distance, that you should run away," he continued. "But I was so wrong."

"You were?" Cas said.

"Yeah," he said, stepping forward so that he and Cas were just an inch apart. He reached out and put his hands on Cas's face, feeling his soft hair beneath his fingertips, and his warm breath on his lips. "You find someone like that," Dean said, "you never _ever_ let them go."

* * *

><p><strong>AN I really hope you enjoyed this slightly longer chapter today. ****I'm currently working on the sequel to chapter 4, where Dean and Cas get sent to a secluded cabin in the woods so hopefully that will be uploaded next Friday. Please leave me a review if you enjoyed! CMPerry x**


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